As I am close to turning 18 (in the next few months), I thought I would write to the most awkward Molly I have ever been. Fourteen was a rough year, with it ending in me pretty much bed bound with antibiotics coursing through my veins. This letter will be closure for me, letting me end my teenage years with a smile on my face and not shuddering at the thought of all my old Facebook profile pictures. 

Dear 14-year old Molly,
Here are my pearls of wisdom that I wish you (I) would have known.
​
Firstly, the emo phase is not cool. You think it is, but really you just look stupid, wearing stripy gloves and band t-shirts. Even though, I still wear band t-shirts, just with cool bands on them like sex pistols! Also, you may think Brendon Urie is literally God, but he recently did a song with Taylor Swift and in my eyes that isn't cool or punk rock. However, at the time of me writing this letter, Fall Out Boy, Green Day and Weezer are going on tour together, so I know you'd be super excited about that. 

I'm also giving you a word of warning now, your group of friends will change. More than once. The friends I have now are some of the most wonderful people I have ever met, and they are in your life already. What I would suggest is befriending them properly now, so you don't waste any time <3. The friends you do lose are just people who don't fit into your life, and that's okay. It was meant to happen. You gain amazing, incredible friends who are going to be there for you. And, when you get your part time job (let's be honest, you're desperate for the money), you will meet the nicest people ever, and I am so happy they are in my life right now. However, another word of warning. Someone in your life currently is going to turn out to be not a very nice person, so be prepared, the aftermath is not pretty. But, your true friends are there to pick you back up.

I know you think that having a boyfriend is the biggest concern in your life right now, but don't worry, because I'm still freaking out over it now, even at 17! It's not a big deal, but it will feel like it. Also, some of the boys you had a crush turned out to be not very nice people, so.

Aside from that, you will become okay-ish at putting makeup on your face and being able to dress yourself with some ounce of style (No black ripped jeans)! Molly, you still love to read, even if I don't read as often as I would like. Also, Harry Potter is still the best book/movie franchise EVER, and they bring out like five new movies in the near future so prepare yourself. You're also not as pale anymore, because 17 year old Molly has discovered fake tan and will apply it whenever she feels like a ghost. 

Your family are great. I know it may seem that you want to run away from home right now, and never come back, but trust me, that feeling will soon pass and you won't want to leave. Barney is still a little annoying though! I also know that in year nine something horrendous happens and I know you didn't deal with it very well, but I'm positive Nanny Nolan is looking down on you and is so proud. Well, I hope shes proud.

Your health will deteriorate, sometime at the start of year ten. It will be really traumatising and literally almost kill you, but you come out the other side even stronger. Also, did you know that your allergic to penicillin? Neither did I. Never ask to get your ears pierced, that's all I'm saying. Your mental health is okay at the moment, but it will get worse after the stint in hospital and at the thought of your GCSEs. Just, take a deep breath, and ask for help if you need it, because you will need it when May 2018 rolls around. 

Speaking of GCSEs, don't stress too much. They aren't as hard as they look and you actually come out with alright grades. Just, don't mention drama. School gets worse, then better, then worse again. Everyone in your year is actually really nice, and you go on to be friends with a lot of them. School goes by so quickly and next thing you know you're sitting in your room with three folders surrounding you, crying into your notebook because A-Levels are hard. Like, really hard. But, I don't know how that bit finishes because that is what I was doing last night, dreading the thought of being in year 13 and going off to university in just under a year. I'm still figuring stuff out, but at least I have a small idea of what I am doing. 

I hope this letter helps you Molly, because these are the things I wish I knew almost four years ago. I'm pretty much talking to myself, so I'm going to stop here.
Love yourself, be brave, be louder. Seriously, talk in class. 
Good Luck,

17 year old Molly x

This has been a long time coming. I could feel my blog gathering dust. Welcome back! It has been about a year and a half since I last updated my blog, and I actually really missed it. A LOT has happened over the past 18 months. I have finally left high school, I have a three month summer, my GCSEs are done and dusted. This blog is now going to be one of my main priorities. I have lots to talk about and discuss, even if no one reads it. I adore writing and this blog is something I really enjoyed doing,

​One of the last blog posts I did before my hiatus was in June 2016, which is a long time ago. This particular blog post I read over recently when I was thinking of restarting my blog up again. That blog post was about 'Endocarditis', a very dangerous infection someone with a heart condition can get. Can I just say, it is probably the most IRONIC thing I will ever write in my entire life! Because three months later, I was admitted into A&E with 'flu-like symptoms'. Doctors thought I had contracted Meningitis. But OH NO. Guess what kids? It was Endocarditis! I won't explain it all in this post, because it is a long story. 

​I hope you are all looking forward to the future of my blog, because I definitely am. This will be a new chapter in my life and this blog. 

Love,

​My heart, my stories xxx

Hi everyone! I am back from my lengthy hiatus, with ultimate grace and poise. The many reasons as to why I was on a hiatus will be revealed in another blog post later in the week. Today, I just wanted to focus on one thing in particular: happiness.
Now, hopefully, we have all experienced this emotion before.
Here are twenty things that are worth being happy about:
1. Watching your favourite disney film. (My personal faves are Hercules, Peter Pan and Brother Bear. These movies are totally underrated!)
2. The sound of waves crashing on a beach.
3. Getting tickets to go see your favourite singer/band in concert.
4. Turning on the fairy lights on a Christmas tree.
5. Knowing you have people who love and care for you.
6. Comedians that are actually funny.
7. When your day is good.
8. Eating a slice of birthday cake. (Birthday cake is way better than actual cake)
9. Laughing so hard you cry.
10. The smell of popcorn. (This is a personal favourite!)
11. Having a good hair day.
12. The smell of coffee.
13. The last day of school.
14. Knowing all the words to your favourite song.
15. The thought of going on holiday.
16. Tying your shoe laces in a perfect bow.
17. Getting the dance moves right to the dance you have learnt.
18. The smell of your favourite perfume/cologne.
19. Perfect high-fives.
20. Clean sheets.
These make me smile, and I want you to smile too!
My heart, my stories xx

Having to go to the hospital is difficult. Staying overnight or more than that is even harder. When I went to stay in hospital when I was 12, I had no idea what to bring with me. I was too worried about the actual heart surgery.
I did my research a few weeks before my operation and I found a few things that would really help with settling in at an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar bed! These are the things I recommend when staying at a hospital;
1. Pyjamas. Also depends of the weather and type of surgery you are having. My most recent surgery was a rod going through my thigh/groin area and in June, so I had a tank top and pyjama shorts combination. They worked a treat when a nurse or my consultant had to check the scar or listen to my heart.
2. Toiletries. This is kind of an essential when staying anywhere. I brought my toothbrush, toothpaste, face cloth, hair brush and deodorant with me. You bring whatever it is you need to feel fresh! If you are staying for longer than 4-5 days, I would advise to wash your hair if you are allowed. Please check before you do.
3. Electronic Devices. For me this is kind of a must have. At the time of my surgery, I didn't have a very 'good' phone, so I took my large iPad with me, to watch movies and play games on. I also facetimed with a few family members who couldn't travel to see me in hospital. I know a boy who took his laptop, but bring whatever you want!
4. Pamper kits. I didn't do this, but I have seen Pinterest posts about this. A pamper kit is something you can bring to places for fun and to indulge yourself into a little 'me time'. This may be facemasks, nail polish or other cool things that you can do while in a bed. The thing I did bring was a nail kit, but I did not use it due to the smell, and I felt very nauseous at the time, so it didn't really help.
5. A good book. It depends on whether you like reading or not. I am a massive book worm so this was probably the first thing I thought about when packing my bag. A tip for packing a book is to make sure it's a book you really want to begin reading.
Anything I have missed please leave in the comments below!
Love you all lots,
My heart, my stories xxx

During my time of being alive and going to a series of schools, I have had to deal with a lot of pressures. It can come and hit us in the stomach whenever and wherever. It's horrible to be under pressure.
One of the main pressures I've had to deal with for most of my life is how I look and act. This is probably the first pressure teenagers and young adults deal with.
When I first started high school, being the little nerd I am, I thought I had to be popular and pretty and perfect. A pressure began to settle over me as I progressed through my first year of homework and new friends. Wherever I looked and saw a girl in my year, I would compare myself to them. I would rate the girl on a popularity scale I had created in my head, it usually being right as I heard a lot because I was quiet and people trusted me.
I needed to be like the popular girls, who were actually very nice and not at all stereotypical (give or take a few). I would ask my mum to take me to all the 'cool girl shops' (which is near enough Topshop and Primark.)
Eventually, I grew out of the phase and started to appreciate my friends and even made a few new ones! The pressure is still there, slightly.
Another pressure teens deal with is Exam pressure. Something that makes me freak out. Even just the simplest of tests makes me go into a frenzy of panic and manic note taking. Now, just imagine me revising for my GCSES (no, I am not in year 11). Just imagine it.
This also ties in with parent pressure, because as most parents go, they want you to do well in school and in life in general. Sometimes that can be exaggerated to a point of ''helicopter parenting''.
Finally, the worst pressure, I personally think is peer pressure. Your friends might pressure you into smoking, drinking alcohol, or doing something you really don't want to do. It can make you think about if you are really friends with these people. Be friends with the people that make you feel special and people that make you laugh. Not the people that use you and hurt you.
To handle pressure, you need to look at things in perspective. Is it really rational to stress about what you're going to wear for non-uniform day? No, not really.

I hope you are enjoying my blog and I will start to update it more often!
My heart, my stories xx

Celebrities. We love them. We adore them. We want to meet them. But we end up sitting in our £20 seat right at the back of the stadium, eating our £15 hotdog and rocking out in our £103829192 merchandise. Or if your lucky enough to get a standing ticket, you  probably get trampled more than once. We could just sit back and relax, watching it on YouTube from someone else's point of view. Though people say it's all part of the experience.
Experiences are things we are made up of. It could be a great one, or a horrible one. Expectations are what come with experiences. It's kind of like that extra baggage that lets us down most of the time because there really big.

Now, this wouldn't be a heart blog if I didn't talk about my experiences and expectations of heart surgery, stories blah blah blah. So, I'm going to talk about my experience of being in hospital for long periods of time.
 The general expectation of going into hospital is ''I don't want them to cut me open!!'' One, you're fast asleep and under the strongest anaesthetic they can find. Two, once your awake and over the extreme pain of having a breathing tube down your throat for four hours, just...don't look at your new and fresh scar. Resist the temptation to peer down your gown or wherever it is your scar is. It'll give you an imagination of scalpels and weird and disgusting thoughts. Sorry if I have just gave you that thought. Here's a cookie!
Anyway, half the time, we expect the worst. We expect the thoughts above. With experiences, the general hospital one is normally a tedious checkup, where you wait for an hour and a half because they ran over. (You can class a hospital appointment however you want, though I'd class mine as a good day out, then ''Oh look, their asking me about what activities I do! Ha, I do none.'')
I hope this gives you a fair idea of what experiences and expectations are for me when it comes to my heart. Please comment if you have any questions or anything you'd like to know!
My heart, My stories.

Hello! Thank you, first of all, for taking the time out of your busy lives, (or if your like me, you just sit in bed all day) to look at my blog! I'm actually very nervous, even though you probably don't know who I am.
Anyways, if you can't guess by my blog name, or by the title of this post; I have a heart condition! Such fun! No, not really, it is a pain in the backside.
At the age of about 2 weeks, I was diagnosed with a fairly rare heart condition; Common Arterial Trunk. It's very ironic, the name, I'm now 13 (but mentally mature). When I mention to friends and people at school, that I have a heart condition, they normally do a double take and protest that I just say that for attention. Firstly, why would I lie, saying I have a heart condition? Not exactly something you want for yourself, is it? Secondly, I look and feel perfectly healthy (whatever way you would like to defy "healthy", go ahead.)

Another "side affect" of having a heart condition (sounds like Hazel from Tfios!) is scars. Many, many scars. I have one on my thigh, a very small one from keyhole surgery. (We'll get into that later.) I have one more, which is around 15cm in length and is situated on my chest. (Not going to show you anytime soon.) That is from open heart surgery, which is a surgery nearly every heart patient gets to endure. Until about last year, I was very self conscious about my body and especially my scar. I couldn't bear to wear tank tops, swimming costumes or anything that had a potential way to show even an inch of my scar. I'm obviously still self conscious, but I try to keep it behind me.

For my blog, I will be writing enticing tales of my heart condition, confidence issues advice and stuff I get up to on my day to day life!

My Heart, My Stories.

(Check out my boring Instagram: molly.meehanx)